4) They’re dismissive of your feelings
Not being capable of empathy and compassion towards the upsetting emotions your partner is experiencing is often a sign that they just don’t get you.
They may also have a tendency to minimize your problems. There is a disconnect because they cannot seem to grasp that even when the problem doesn’t seem such a big deal to them, your feelings about it are strong nevertheless.
If your partner makes you feel like you should just ‘get over it’ when something is wrong, you’re bound to feel misunderstood.
5) You feel distant
- There’s a tangible uncomfortableness that hangs in the air sometimes.
- Spending time in silence together is awkward.
- You sometimes feel lonely, even when they are around.
Perhaps at the beginning of your relationship you didn’t notice as much, you were too busy doing fun activities and having a laugh together.
But as time goes on the void between you two may have grown. Relationships progress and develop by moving beyond just surface exchanges.
Sharing your thoughts, feelings, and opinions as you open yourselves up to one another creates a sense of familiarity and attachment.
If you aren’t doing this you may start to feel a distance between you emerge. You may have fallen in love, but find you’re still not clicking on a deeper level.
6) They don’t get your jokes
Plenty of us put a sense of humor as one of the top traits we’re looking for in a potential mate.
“Men and women use humor and laughter to attract one another and to signal romantic interest-but each gender accomplishes this in a different way. And as a relationship progresses, the way men and women use humor changes; it becomes a means of soothing one another and smoothing over rough patches. In fact, humor is rarely about anything funny at all; rather sharing a laugh can bring people closer together and even predict compatibility over the long haul.”
When you consider the significant role humor has, your jokes totally missing the mark with your partner suddenly becomes more significant.
Your humor is a reflection of you, so if your partner doesn’t get it, it could be that you’re just not on the same page.
7) You’re very different people
Author of “Great Myths of Intimate Relationships: Dating, Sex, and Marriage,” Matthew D. Johnson explains that as time passes personality contrasts become more noticeable and start to stand out in a relationship:
“The problem is that what’s true of magnets is not at all true of romance…In the end, people’s attraction to differences is vastly outweighed by our attraction to similarities. People persist in thinking opposites attract – when in reality, relatively similar partners just become a bit more complementary as time goes by.”
The bottom line is that when you are very different from your partner, it may be harder for them to try to understand you.
8) You have totally opposite tastes
You may align on the bigger things in life, such as values and your overall attitudes, yet find that your outside interests and other characteristics still clash.
You love pop, they adore death metal. You’re a morning person, they’re a night owl. You love camping in the wilderness, they’re more of a 5-star hotel type of person.
It’s not that you need to have every hobby in common, but if you have zero shared interests it can become a sticking point.
Our compatibility rests on finding common ground. If you’re not mentally stimulated by the same sort of things, it’s just trickier to find that ground.